She Is Terri Linton
  • Home
  • About Me
    • About Me
    • Copyright Notice
  • For Moms
  • Inspiration
  • Relationships
  • Podcast – She Roads with Terri Linton
  • Contact Me
Recent episodes
EPISODE 8: I TALK CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, BEING...
EPISODE 7: STANDING ON UNSHAKABLE FAITH: TAMIEKA L....
EPISODE 6: WHEN BREAST CANCER STRIKES: ANNA BENCOSME...
EPISODE 5:  HALO & HORNS: ANGELA RIVERA TALKS...
EPISODE 4: MY BEST FRAAAN TALKS CAREER IN...
EPISODE 3: JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD: VALERIE PINTO TALKS...
EPISODE 2 : DOING IT FOR FAMILY & THE...
EPISODE 1: WELCOME TO SHE ROADS, I AM...
  • Home
  • About Me
    • About Me
    • Copyright Notice
  • For Moms
  • Inspiration
  • Relationships
  • Podcast – She Roads with Terri Linton
  • Contact Me

She Is Terri Linton

Sign Up For My She Notes

Sign-up to get ‘She Notes’ a monthly message of inspiration and information from me to you.

Category

Identity

    balancechildIdentitylifeMe TimemommyMommy and Memomsself-careUncategorized

    No Mommy, Just Me Time

    written by sheisterri

    When a woman becomes a mother, she quickly morphs into one with her child.  Wherever she goes, baby goes.  Whatever baby needs, she provides.  How baby feels, she feels.  And then there are the constant societal reminders that she is to be consciously coupled with her child–as often as possible.  There’s ‘Mommy and Me’ yoga, ‘Mommy and Me’ music, ‘Mommy and Me’ swimming, ‘Mommy and Me’ fitness–the list goes on and on.  It is not long before she realizes that who she was before baby is long gone, and that who remains is solely someone’s mother.

    And when you are a single mom, the ‘Mommy and Me’ cord is so tightly intertwined that it is nearly impossible to distinguish where you begin and your child ends.  This has been the story of my life for about three and a half years now.  Before becoming a mother, I had no idea how much of my life–how much of me I would sacrifice.  Everything from how I schedule my day, to how I spend my money, to the amount of free time I have (which is almost none) is structured around my son.  And here’s what I’ve learned.  If you do not make a conscious effort to maintain your identity and create a life, separate and apart from being mom, you will one day look in the mirror and ask, ‘Where is [insert your name here]?  It’s been so long since I’ve seen her.  Wonder how she’s doing.’

    This recently happened to me.  One afternoon, while watching my son play, I thought about how, outside of daycare, work, some errands, and the extremely rare occasion when I meet up with a friend, we are always together.  And I mean always.  We are so recognized as one that when people see me alone, they immediately ask where is my son (as if I have not existed in the world without him for the past 41 years).

    The universe must have recognized that I needed a little shake of the shoulders to wake me up out of my mommy slumber.  My son’s sitter, who also works at his daycare, gave me a flyer for a half-day yoga retreat that was coming up.  I’m sure she knew that everything about it would be up my alley.  There would be outdoor yoga by the water.  There would be a delicious healthy brunch.  There would be fellowship with other women.  There would be some much needed time away from my son.  Everything about it screamed, ‘Do it!’

    So with no plan in place as to who would watch my son (same sitter was going out of town that weekend), I pulled my debit card and reserved my spot.  I did what so many people have encouraged me to do for the longest.  I relinquished the reigns, called upon another sister-friend and asked would she watch my son.  Thankfully, she was more than willing.  A week later, another girlfriend and I were in my car driving to the Hudson Valley for the retreat.

    The day was wonderful.  I was doing one of my favorite things in the world, yoga, under a beautiful morning sun, by the water, with a friend I adore.  But what made the day most amazing was that I emerged from my mommy cave.  I had finally given myself permission to do something solely for me.  And it felt good.  I could enjoy myself knowing that my son was fine where he was, and I was fine where I was.  No mommy on duty.  Just me.  Like it used to be.

    And so I’ve recommitted to living–for me.  Not in the same way that I did before my son, of course, but in a way that honors not only my motherhood, but also my selfhood and womanhood.  It will not be an easy or perfect balance, but I must try.  I have to stay connected. 

    Not only to the mommy in me. 

    But just me.

    No Mommy, Just Me Time was last modified: December 11th, 2017 by sheisterri
    June 7, 2016 2 comments
    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest

About Me

About Me

Keep in touch

Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest Email

Recent Posts

  • When We Can’t Tell the Good from the Bad
  • EPISODE 8: I TALK CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, BEING A ‘BLACK GIRL LOST,’ PUSHING THROUGH SINGLE-MOTHERHOOD, AND STRIVING TO LIVE MY BEST LIFE
  • EPISODE 7: STANDING ON UNSHAKABLE FAITH: TAMIEKA L. JONES TALKS TRUSTING GOD’S PLAN & CRAFTING PERFECT WEDDINGS AND EVENTS
  • EPISODE 6: WHEN BREAST CANCER STRIKES: ANNA BENCOSME TALKS PARENTAL DRUG ADDICTION, FAMILY, AND KICKING BREAST CANCER IN THE ASS
  • EPISODE 5:  HALO & HORNS: ANGELA RIVERA TALKS CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, SEXUAL ABUSE,  SUICIDE, ENTREPRENEURSHIP AND PUSHING THROUGH DARK DAYS

Recent Comments

  • Arlene Scipio on Thanks But No Thanks to the Parenting Advice
  • dancingpalmtrees on Thanks But No Thanks to the Parenting Advice
  • She is Terri Linton on How I Brought Myself Back to Life (And You Can Too)
  • She is Terri Linton on How I Brought Myself Back to Life (And You Can Too)
  • marybeth mccoy on How I Brought Myself Back to Life (And You Can Too)

Archives

Categories

Load More…

Follow me on Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Home
  • About Me
    • About Me
    • Copyright Notice
  • For Moms
  • Inspiration
  • Relationships
  • Podcast – She Roads with Terri Linton
  • Contact Me

©2018 - SHE IS TERRI LINTON. All Rights Reserved. Site Created by My Brnd Inc.


Back To Top