1. You Were Brave Enough
Whether you are a single-mom by circumstance or choice, you decided that nothing was more important than bringing your child into the world. And come what may, you committed to mothering your child even if alone. People tend to look at single-moms through a lens of pity as if they and their children were abandoned or unwanted. Rarely do people consider that maybe it was the woman who decided that forging it alone with her child was better than staying in a relationship that did not honor her. Or that perhaps she always wanted to be a mom, but the option of being a wife was not offered or desired. Maybe family forever after was the goal, but life had other plans. How ever you came to be a single-mom, give yourself credit for being brave enough to take this journey in your own time and in your own way.
2. You Make The Magic Happen
How many times have you wondered how you were going to make something happen for your child, only to look back and see that each and every time you did? You may not have done it without immense struggle, or without sacrifice, or without nerves that had ‘a little pee running down your leg’ as Iyanla Vanzant recently said, but you did it. Because many of us single-moms have limited and, in some instances, no help at all, we have to figure out how to make our children’s lives as full and enjoyable as if they had the presence and resources of two parents. It is no easy feat. We often find ourselves with expenses greater than our bank accounts. We have work schedules that intrude upon precious time with our children. Our daily demands are unforgiving. And fatigue is our constant companion. Yet when we look into our children’s eyes, we know that we have done our jobs–and well. We see the same love and adoration reflected in theirs as they see in ours. We are their constant. The ones who they can count on. We always make a way out of seemingly no way. We are the ones who make magic happen again and again.
3. You Get All of the Love
Even though almost my entire life has been lived without my son, it feels like it started three years ago when he was born. Certainly, there were times in my life that brought me great joy, but my day to day existence did not have the vibrancy and purpose that it has had since his birth. There’s nothing like seeing his face light up when I sing his favorite cartoon anthems with him. Or hearing him yell, ‘I did it Mommy!’ when he accomplishes something that he is proud of. Or when he hurts himself and it is only my kiss on that knee or elbow that will make it better. Or when we have our two-guest dance parties in the middle of our living room. These are our moments. We create them together and they are ours alone to treasure. Moments like these make our lives as single-moms all the more sweet and remind us that through it all, we have our babies and they have us.
4. You Are a Goal Digger
There’s nothing like having another life to care for that forces you to kick it into high gear. Before my son was born, I had my professional goals, but I did not have that fire in my belly. My mindset was that I if I reached my goals, I reached them. If I didn’t, oh well. But since having my son, I want to build a legacy. I want him to have an advantaged life filled with opportunities and experiences that will make him a well-rounded, thoughtful, and compassionate human being who has something valuable to give to the world one day. My head is overrun with goals and timelines that I have set for myself. And I will achieve each and every one of them–for us. That’s what our children do. They inspire us to live life as our greatest selves. They are depending on us. And we refuse to let them down.
5. You Are Sheroic As F*#k
Never underestimate your value. Other people see it. How many times has someone looked into your eyes and said, ‘I don’t know how you do it girl.’ They say that because you are doing a great job raising your child(ren) on your own. This ain’t a job for everyone. It is not for the weak or faint of heart. Be proud of yourself and the family that you have created. Rock that ‘S’ on your chest. You deserve it. You are a single-mom doing it fabulously. In the words of the illustrious hip hop mogul Birdman, ‘Put some respek on [your] name!’