She Is Terri Linton
  • Home
  • About Me
    • About Me
    • Copyright Notice
  • For Moms
  • Inspiration
  • Relationships
  • Podcast – She Roads with Terri Linton
  • Contact Me
Recent episodes
Episode 14: Heidy Tejeda Talks Unleashing Yourself Through...
Episode 13: Jennifer Bozeman Talks Growing Up in...
Episode 12: Breaking Generational Cycles of Violence: How...
Episode 11: From Homelessness to Pageant Queen &...
Episode 10: When Family Trauma Leads to Healing
Episode 9: Hello Season Two!
EPISODE 8: I TALK CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, BEING...
EPISODE 7: STANDING ON UNSHAKABLE FAITH: TAMIEKA L....
EPISODE 6: WHEN BREAST CANCER STRIKES: ANNA BENCOSME...
EPISODE 5:  HALO & HORNS: ANGELA RIVERA TALKS...
  • Home
  • About Me
    • About Me
    • Copyright Notice
  • For Moms
  • Inspiration
  • Relationships
  • Podcast – She Roads with Terri Linton
  • Contact Me

She Is Terri Linton

Sign Up For My She Notes

Sign-up to get ‘She Notes’ a monthly message of inspiration and information from me to you.

Tag

Single-motherhood

    independent womenmenrelationshipssingle womenstrong womenUncategorizedwomen

    Strong, Independent, and Don’t Need a Man

    written by sheisterri

    About a month ago, one of my ‘lil sisses’ tagged me in a post on Instagram.  She was shouting me out for being a woman who taught her to be strong and independent.  I smiled at the thought of having inspired this amazing young woman to stand boldly and proudly in her womanhood.  That’s my message to all of my little sisters.  Particularly because at their age, and many years beyond, I was a mess.  I looked great on paper as far as what I had accomplished in my educational and professional life, but inside I was a swirling tornado of low self-esteem, neediness, and self-sabotage all usually related to a man.  So because I was blessed enough to have the opportunity to get my head together (thank God for awakenings and second chances), I happily share my lessons with my younger sisters all with the hope and intention of sparing them the slew of hard knocks that left me emotionally battered, but thankfully not broken.   

    However, it was when she said that I also taught her ‘not to need a man’ that I winced.  Although I never told her that verbatim, I could certainly see how she could have received that as the resounding point of our many conversations.  When I met her, I was, and still am, a professional self-supporting mother raising a child on my own.  Those qualifiers, coupled with her knowledge of my choosing divorce and single-motherhood as opposed to remaining in a situation that was not good for or to me, could easily translate to me now not wanting or needing a man.  One of which is definitely not the case.  So after giving my response some thought, my comment on the post was: ‘While a man is not needed, a good one is always nice to have.’

    And that is the truth.

    When I think of all of the things I need in life, a man is not one of them.  And it was at the beginning of my mid-life that I finally and fully understood that.  I need air to breathe.  I need good health.  I need money to take care of my family.  I need to write.  I need adequate rest to be functional.  I need time to myself.  I need to love and be truly loved.  But I do not need a man.  Rather, I want a man.  And not just any man because a surplus of those are always available.  But a good one.

    My little sis’ perception of a strong independent woman not needing a man is a common one.  In fact, some ‘strong independent women’ proudly live by that mantra.  Some even promote it themselves because life’s disappointments have left them disillusioned, embittered, and even angry at men.  So to camouflage those wounds and protect their hearts, they convince themselves that they do not need or want a man. 

    One of my best friends and I had a conversation not too long ago about men and relationships.  She by all measures is a strong independent successful woman.  I definitely would not characterize her as a woman who needs a man by any means.  But while chatting, I could see the enormous love and gratitude in her eyes when she spoke of her husband bringing her tea in bed.  An act of kindness as simple as bringing her tea every morning lit her up.  But really, it is not at all about the tea.  It is about the immense blessing of having a man who loves, values, and cherishes her enough to begin her day with care and kindness–from him first.  So for the woman who is emotionally ready to receive and appreciate such love, tea becomes everything.

    We women can be strong.  We can be independent.  We can be self-supporting.  We can be driven.  We can be successful.  But we can also desire the love of a man worthy of all we are.  We can refuse mediocrity, irresponsibility, infidelity, dependency, and maltreatment.  We can unrelentingly build ourselves up while possessing the clarity of mind to know both our worth and who is worthy.  And what many will dismiss as disinterest or undesirability, we understand is discernment. 

    We know better than anybody when it is safe to close our eyes and fall back freely because capable caring hands are wide open to catch us.  But when they are not, we can unapologetically walk through life with the strength and independence befitting only of a queen whose head ever remains up high so her bejeweled crown never falls.

    Photo credit: William Stitt

    Strong, Independent, and Don’t Need a Man was last modified: December 11th, 2017 by sheisterri
    February 19, 2017 4 comments
    1 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • African-American MalesBlack ChildrenBlack MothersBlack Womenexcessive forceParentingpolicepolice brutalityUncategorized

    ‘Feature Friday:’ My Momma and I Discuss the Police, Single-Parenthood, and Hopes for Our Favorite Guy

    by sheisterri August 26, 2016

    2016 has been a gut-wrenching year.  As of July, the number of African-Americans killed by police officers, this year alone, is a staggering 137.  Craven, J. (2016).  Here’s How Many…

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • Father's DayfathersUncategorized

    Being a Single-Mom Does Not Make Me a Dad

    by sheisterri June 21, 2016

    They trickled in at the start of the morning and continued throughout the evening.  There were text messages with strings of heart emojis.  Electronic cards with vibrant animation and songs. …

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • balancechildIdentitylifeMe TimemommyMommy and Memomsself-careUncategorized

    No Mommy, Just Me Time

    by sheisterri June 7, 2016

    When a woman becomes a mother, she quickly morphs into one with her child.  Wherever she goes, baby goes.  Whatever baby needs, she provides.  How baby feels, she feels.  And…

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • lovemomsParentingSingle-parenthoodUncategorizedwomen

    Five Reasons You Rock for Being a Single-Mom

    by sheisterri May 8, 2016

    1. You Were Brave Enough Whether you are a single-mom by circumstance or choice, you decided that nothing was more important than bringing your child into the world.  And come…

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • gratitudemomsParentingSingle-parenthoodsocial mediastresstoddlerstoddlersUncategorized

    Get Over Your Parental Pity Party

    by sheisterri April 25, 2016

    My son still whines when he wakes up in the morning. He is also quite satisfied co-sleeping with me until some date yet to be determined. He is steadfast in…

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • deathlifemomsParentingUncategorized

    Every Mother’s Prayer

    by sheisterri February 21, 2016

    A week later, and I am still suspended somewhere in between shock and terror. We were all together at her son’s backyard birthday party just last summer.  Our boys were…

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • bitchdomestic violencefathersmomsParentingsocial mediaUncategorizedwomen

    Who You Calling a Bitch?

    by sheisterri January 17, 2016

    Once again, I have entertainers Future and Ciara to thank for my latest writing inspiration.  Now let’s be clear.  Thus far, I have not been Team Ciara or Team Future. …

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • ParentingSingle-parenthoodsonstoddlers

    It’s Just A Bad Day, Not a Bad Life

    by sheisterri February 9, 2015

    I wanted to cry.  I expected to make my way home with wet salty tears streaming down my cheeks, dripping from my chin, and staining my jacket.  But they just…

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
  • new yearParentingSingle-parenthood

    My “Top 5” for 2015

    by sheisterri January 13, 2015

    During my pilates and yoga session last week, my instructor, Heidy, asked me to visualize and then share three goals that I have for the new year.  I think that…

    0 Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Newer Posts
Older Posts

About Me

About Me

Keep in touch

Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest Email

Recent Posts

  • Episode 14: Heidy Tejeda Talks Unleashing Yourself Through Pilates; Entrepreneurship; and Single Parenthood
  • Episode 13: Jennifer Bozeman Talks Growing Up in the Gowanus Houses, Leaving Rikers, and Teaching in the NYC School System
  • Episode 12: Breaking Generational Cycles of Violence: How Angela Rivera Fought for Her Daughter’s Life and Became an Unintended Advocate for Domestic Violence Survivors
  • Episode 11: From Homelessness to Pageant Queen & Mompreneur: LaSonya Alexander Talks Adversity, Determination, and Empowering Single Moms
  • Episode 10: When Family Trauma Leads to Healing

Recent Comments

  • Arlene Scipio on Thanks But No Thanks to the Parenting Advice
  • dancingpalmtrees on Thanks But No Thanks to the Parenting Advice
  • She is Terri Linton on How I Brought Myself Back to Life (And You Can Too)
  • She is Terri Linton on How I Brought Myself Back to Life (And You Can Too)
  • marybeth mccoy on How I Brought Myself Back to Life (And You Can Too)

Archives

Categories

Load More…

Follow me on Instagram
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Home
  • About Me
    • About Me
    • Copyright Notice
  • For Moms
  • Inspiration
  • Relationships
  • Podcast – She Roads with Terri Linton
  • Contact Me

©2018 - SHE IS TERRI LINTON. All Rights Reserved. Site Created by My Brnd Inc.


Back To Top