Girlfriends are alot like our favorite pair of shoes or handbag. We love, cherish, and want to hold on to them forever. But like those favorite pair of shoes, sometimes the fit between girlfriends is not what it once was. Or like that to-die-for handbag, you carry them closely by your side despite being weighed down by all of the junk that has been dumped inside.
Anything that does not inspire, encourage, or make me better has no place in my life. These are words that I live by. I once had a job that made me so miserable that a half-dollar sized section of my hair fell clean out of my scalp. I quit that job. I was in a marriage that nearly broke me. Eventually, I divorced. I have a friend who I love, but our relationship is failing. And I am stuck somewhere between holding on out of loyalty and letting go out of necessity.
We expect girlfriends to survive financial problems, health scares, marriages, divorces, and even the death of loved ones. But what happens when that sister-friend with whom you used to share so much now knows almost nothing about you? Or the real talk that flowed so freely between the two of you is now hesitant, guarded. Or when silent scrutiny infiltrates what was once a judgment-free zone.
Months drift by as the gap between us further widens. Apathy is the last thing we need. But what probably hurts the most are the head nods and acquiescence to the claims of those less knowing that it is jealousy that stands between us. It is impossible for jealousy to live in the same place as transparency. You know all of me. And I know all of you.
I say that I’m stuck, but maybe I’m really not. Could it be that the reason for our season was to find kinship in the calamity of our lives? No one else could have possibly imagined the hell we were in. Thankfully, we’re no longer the women we once were, which is why we have become the women we are today.
Perhaps it really is that simple–we have fulfilled all that God would have us do in each other’s lives. And if that be the case, I will remember our sisterhood lovingly–before the world got a hold of us and changed us.
Time will tell if the universe is ushering us through the final phase of our friendship. But if it is not, I’m sure that one day, we will pick up where we left off. This time, as women grounded by grace, humbled by God’s mercy and blessings, and with hearts open to the rebirth of a beautiful friendship.