I know. It’s been quite some time since I’ve dropped a line, but life has been unfolding—rapidly, surprisingly, and beautifully.
When I started this blog in February 2014, I was in the early stages of transition and recovery. I was emerging from the end of a relationship, moving from 41 years of self-consumed living to surrendering all I had for a miracle baby boy, facing life choices that carried significant consequences, and I was mending from years of nomadic spiritual living.
I’ve always been a person who journals, but with the chaos of my life serving as a constant distraction, I hadn’t in years. Until one day, out of the blue, I began typing small entries into a journaling app stored and left unused on my phone. Eventually, I picked up a pen and began writing longer entries in a hard-covered journal. And when I needed more space to capture all of the words flying around in my head like projectile missiles, I began writing on my laptop. But it was while aimlessly scrolling on Twitter one day, I saw a tweet by HuffPost asking those with an interesting divorce story to share. Mine was interesting to say the least. So I poured my story onto a Word document and submitted it—never expecting a reply, never imagining it to be published.
But it was.
And I kept writing.
Writing was my healing, my salvation. It continues to be. I am my truest self when I climb into my thoughts and sort through the rubble of my life—sometimes finding desperately sought after answers; sometimes realizing there aren’t any and may never be.
I figured if I was in search of answers to questions on how to be the best mother I could, how to be resilient, and how to be forgiving and more merciful to myself and others, other women had to be in search of the same. I had enough of seeing ‘strong women’ hide the realities of their complicated lives behind carefully curated pictures of perfection and manufactured joy. I decided to share my imperfect self and fragmented life so that other women would know—even if they never spoke it aloud—they are not alone. Then came the crazy (but not so crazy) idea to chronicle my evolving journey of selfhood, womanhood, and motherhood on a blog.
And from this blog, I’ve slowly but surely become more of me. I’ve surrendered and allowed myself to follow where life is leading me. And so far, it feels right. I’ve written more than I ever imagined I would or could. And as I continued to publish posts here, and was published elsewhere, I one day got the notion to attend an open house for a Master of Fine Arts program. Thoughts of returning to school to pursue a third degree at 45 years old, while raising a now-four year-old on my own had me questioning my sanity. But I ignored the dark voices that lurk in my head, and went. By the end of the open house, I knew studying for an MFA is the next part of my journey. And beginning in less than a week, it will be. There’s also the podcast where I will share the stories and journeys of resilient and enduring women. Women who speak a language other women need to hear. It will premiere in September as well. And there is my new role as Resource Guide for an online site for single-mothers (esme.com) for whom I have already written numerous articles as a contributor. Not only was I so fortunate to become a part of this amazing community of single-mothers, but I can now use my background and experience to serve as an expert on how to navigate the criminal justice and prison system.
I share all of this not as a humble brag or to say ‘look at me’—but, yes, look at me. Behind my solid rearing, lofty degrees, professional accomplishments, and well-regarded image, internally I was a mess of a woman riddled with insecurity, shame, and bitterness that could have easily destroyed my life. The old saying, ‘everything happens for a reason’ is so much more than a feel-good anecdote. It is truth. Most that happens in our lives is for a reason, even if we cannot discern why in an instant. My son remains that reason for me—far greater than even myself. His birth was my internal rallying cry to get myself and life in order for good. For both of our sakes. And so I began.
And you can too. Whatever your struggle, persevere. What we survive is, most times, what we need to grow through. Life’s hardships tend to present us with a critical choice that is ours alone to make—fight or flight. I encourage you not to run from anything—no matter how hard, ugly, or painful. Figure out your ‘reason’ and pledge to fight through it, with all of your might and for however long it takes.
Our heart’s desires are never guaranteed, but it is often in the midst of the darkest seasons of our lives, we become more of who we were always meant to be.
Look out for the many new and exciting things from sheisterrilinton.com including the launch of my newly designed website; my monthly newsletter (only for subscribers); the podcast that will be available on my site, ITunes, and wherever you get podcasts; and my writing on other platforms. If you know a woman who you think would be uplifted by my blog, please share me with her. Thank you to all of my subscribers, those who have emailed me messages of support over the years, and to all who have shared my writing. Feel free to connect with me on Instagram (sheisterril); Facebook (@sheisterrilinton); and Twitter (@SheisTerriL); and don’t forget to subscribe to the blog at http://www.sheisterrilinton.com.
Love and light to you on your journey!